First sex after herpes diagnosis

Don't rush things early on because in the first 6 months your body is learning to deal with the virus, try to find other ways to be intimate. Most of time, the first outbreak will last for two to four weeks without medication. After the first outbreak begins to heal, a second wave of sores is likely to occur.

You can find other ways to explore intimacy with each other such as mutual masturbation and this can even lead to a better sex life down the line.

Get to go as slow as you'd like

If we shift our perspective with herpes, then our perspective on sex might just shift in a positive direction as well. Herpes is a way to slow you down, to renegotiate your relationship to intimacy ... Sex is so fast these days, it's almost like we've forgotten how to go sloooow, how to touch, how to appreciate the simple things ... how often do people do that anymore with the rush toward the sex itself?

Talk to your partner.

Talking is probably the best way of making things clear. Maybe try having a chat about what you're happy doing and what you're not happy doing.

Intimacy is not just about sex and genitals. You can be intimate with someone in many other ways, such as by talking and sharing personal information about yourself, like your feelings.

Being sexually intimate with someone should be an enjoyable and comfortable experience that makes you feel pleasure and happiness. It is a way of expressing your feelings in a physical way.

Hard to relax? Discuss your feelings in a herpes group

Some women may find it hard to relax during sex after a herpes diagnosis, even after symptoms have cleared. There is no “one size fits all” approach to getting through this. Psychosexual counselling is available for people with herpes,. This can help to deal with intrusive feelings and anxieties.

There are also lots of herpes support groups and dating sites available for those who may prefer to discuss their feelings with a group.

Read the stories from others who have worked through

Ther are plenty of people with herpes have worked through the first sex after herpes and would would like share wisdom with herpes! How the first time went with anyone else...any tips on making it easier? We will share some positive inputs from those who have gone before!

Take the pressure off and time is right, sex will feel a lot more natural.

I just recently went through my "first sex" with a partner I recently disclosed to.

Before we got naked, I had the Herpes Talk. I explained that I hadn't had sex in a long time in a meaningful way and I was nervous. I worried and wondered about things, transmissions, would he have regrets, etc. And in men, this kind of worrying can lead to...well, a certain "softening."

So we agreed that my new beau would spend the night. We might have sex...we might not. It all depended on how things felt in the moment. This took ALL the pressure off our first sexual experience to happen that night or for it to go a certain way...because hey, it might not even happen that first night we had sex.

Honestly, I wasn't sure how easily I could sleep next to another person again. I had made myself into this 'disease-carrying-monster' in my head for a few years, so I was uneasy just with nudity.

But we snuggled in bed, talked, and in fact, we went to bed without being sexually active. The morning was a different story, however. Something changed...the lack of pressure made me relaxed and ready. We ended up having a very sweet Naked Play Time but part of the reason it went well was because it didn't have to happen.

Take the pressure off yourself and when the time is right, I predict sex will feel a lot more natural.

Give yourself time

Our sex life is a little different now (he doesn't have herpes and I want to keep it that way!) as we have to be more careful, but no pain, and he doesn't have to go easy on me!

You can have a fun and fulfilling sex life again, but give yourself time. You might have to start gentle and work your way back up, both for the benefit of your body and your mind.

I am well prepared and I got my sex life back!

Last night was the first night i had sex since my diagnosis. I was prepared. It was spectacular! My partner is negative but was willing to go at it without a condom but i didn't want that, i thought it would take away from the experience because i knew id be worrying instead of enjoying myself.

So i did some research found some really great condoms for him and my water based lube and presented at the "proper" time lol... he thought my condom recon mission was cute and we went full steam ahead from there. I feel so awesome today, with all of your help and his love and understanding, i got my sex life back!