Your sex life may be more complicated than it was before your diagnosis. Now, you must be careful about what you do and when you do it. There are some precautions you can take to prevent your partner from contracting herpes. One of the most important protecting ways is that you may avoid sex during outbreak. While herpes sores are present, sex is not safe as this is when the virus is most contagious.
I'm a late 20s woman healing from my first outbreak of genital herpes. The sores don't bother me too much now but they do itch. Does anyone have any guidelines about how long I should wait to have sex after my initial OB? Should I just wait till the sores are totally gone and then add a couple days?
An outbreak period includes the first warning signs of an outbreak, such as a burning sensation in the genitals, until the last sore has totally healed. Sex during an outbreak can prolong the healing due to the friction.
The herpes virus is MOST contagious during the first outbreak, and becomes LESS contagious with recurrent outbreaks.
How long to wait to have sex after first herpes outbreak
Most of time, the first outbreak will last for two to four weeks without medication. After the first outbreak begins to heal, a second wave of sores is likely to occur. Medication use can cause the second wave to be less likely to happen, but it is still common.
If you recently been diagnosed with herpes, You may wait about four to six months after the primary outbreak to have sex, so you can give your body time to build up antibodies to the virus. By taking things slow, you’ll learn how herpes affects you. During this time, you won’t be able to accurately know what your prodromes are like, and you’re more likely to experience outbreaks and asymptomatic shedding.
If you meet a new partner during this time, you want to wait to have sex. You can find other ways to explore intimacy with each other such as mutual masturbation and this can even lead to a better sex life down the line.
It is said that herpes makes you an excellent wingman. You’re able to slow down new relationships, which allows you and your partner to see each other without the sex-fogged mirrors. In the long run, this will create a stronger foundation for your relationship.
When is it safe to have sex after recurrent outbreak
During a recurrent outbreak, you can safely have sex after seven to ten days. Once the sores are completely healed, your risk goes back down to non-outbreak levels. When you’re using antiviral medication, you might heal a bit quicker.
If you feel any symptoms of prodrome, such as itching or tingling, you may avoid sex until those feelings are gone. If your outbreak is particularly bad, healing might take longer as the skin needs time to heal up.
It’s a good idea to always take daily antiviral medication and use condoms during sex. This can help protect skin from friction and reduce the risk of an outbreak. The medication will help prevent outbreaks altogether.
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How to know a herpes outbreak is totally healed?
When a herpes outbreak is healing, crusts and ulcers will be replaced by new tissue, similar to other skin problems. Outbreaks heal from the outside to the inside, and there will be measurable differences in both depth and diameter.
When the outbreak is over, there won’t be any pain in the area. All scabs will fall off, leaving new clear skin. More information about herpes outbreak timeline.
Sex is safe between outbreaks
As long as your partner knows about your herpes status, and understands and accepts the risks, sex is safe between outbreaks.
If you have the herpes virus, you need to be honest with any new partners. If you expect to be sexually active with someone, you need to bring this up right away. You can educate your partner about the risks of sex and how to protect them from contracting herpes.
When is herpes not contagious?
Even if you have herpes with no visible symptoms, you can still affect partners around ten-percent of the time. This is called “asymptomatic shedding”. Up to seventy-percent of new herpes infections can be linked back to asymptomatic shedding.
You won’t always be able to notice when your virus is contagious. This complicates sex, but you can take steps to manage your level of contagiousness, outbreaks, and viral shedding periods.
When you take necessary precautions, your chance of transmitting herpes is small. You don’t need to abstain from sex just because you have genital herpes.
Want to have a free sex life? Find a partner with herpes
When both partners have herpes, it is possible to have a very fulfilling sex life. This is especially true if you have the same strain of herpes, since you don’t have to worry about accidentally infecting your partner.
You both have the antibodies and cannot be reinfected. You won’t need to avoid sex during an outbreak and you won’t need condoms or dental dams. It allows for a very free sex life.
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For more guidance on dealing with sex with herpes, see the articles:
Everything you need to know about herpes and sex
How to tell if a herpes outbreak is coming?
When a herpes outbreak is over?
How long does it take for a herpes outbreak to go away?
How do you get over the anxiety of having sex again
