Some people with herpes get outbreaks after having sex. Yes, sex can bring another outbreak but it has to do with each individual’s immune system. Sex can trigger a herpes outbreak, particularly in the first couple of months of being diagnosed. This is because the body is still building up antibodies to the virus and any skin irritation gives a reason for the virus to appear.
Once someone has had herpes for a while, their risk of sex triggering an outbreak lowers. Some people will find the friction from sex brings on symptoms, whereas others will find that it doesn’t. It has to do with each individual’s immune system.
You aren’t alone if sex triggers your outbreaks. Many others with herpes have the same experience as you. Read the following stories from people with herpes.
My only hang up is that sex seems to be my main trigger
I have had herpes for about 3 years and have mostly come to accept it. My only hang up is that sex seems to be my main trigger. I am married (got herpes from my husband so no worries of spreading it), and it seems I rarely get an outbreak, unless we have sex.
I don't have the best sex drive in the world as it is, and it is even harder to get in the mood when I know I will be regretting it for weeks afterward. Within a couple days of having sex I get my symptoms - cramps, lower back pain, nausea, sore throat, extreme fatigue, itchiness, etc.
The actually sore is only 1 small cut usually, it's all the other symptoms before that bother me the most. I have 3 kids and just don't have time for all of that. Plus of course we don't have sex during an outbreak. So as a result, we have sex once every few months at best. :( Thankfully my husband is super supportive and doesn't push me. I got it from him but he rarely ever has outbreaks.
Sex is my only trigger for herpes. Anyone similar?
I have a question about everybody's triggers. I seem to have no triggers other than sex. I can drink alcohol, drugs, eat unhealthily, be super stressed, tired everything and I never get an outbreak.
However I get an outbreak every time I have sex! I can't find anything on the internet of anyone with a similar experience. I now take antivirals 10 days before I see my bf (who lives in italy) and it seems to stop the outbreak.
I can masturbate with no lube, with lube, etc. and nary a red bump. But lord help me when I have sex with my girlfriend. Have bought all the expensive lubes on the market, we've tried shaving and not shaving, different positions. Inevitably within 18-24hrs I get a large number of small blisters in random locations. Now, this is nothing like my first OB's where I couldn't walk straight. They tend to go away much faster and Bactine has turned out to be a godsend.
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Why does sex cause an outbreak?
When you have sex without sufficient lubrication, the friction can irritate the skin and trigger herpes symptoms. This might not happen every time.
Friction from sex can aggravate a dormant herpes virus. The virus lies in the nervous system, so blood rushing to nerve ending in the penis and clitoris during sex heighten the sensitivity of the genital region, which is what causes an outbreak.
There are some people who believe that herpes is always on the skin’s surface, but outbreaks only occur when your immune system notices and attacks it. Sex tears the skin sometimes, which causes the immune system to react, notice the herpes, and begin to fight the virus.
What’s the solution? Lube!
If you notice that sex causes an outbreak for you, you might want to use lube. This reduces friction and reduces the chance of an outbreak. During an outbreak, slow down on the sex until the outbreak is healed otherwise it might get worse.
What condoms will prevent an outbreak?
Condoms containing a water-based lubricant can reduce irritation. Avoid ones with the spermicide nonoxynol-9, which can irritate mucous membranes.
You want to avoid oil-based lubricants, too. They weaken latex and make the condom more likely to break. Even when intercourse friction seems to be a trigger, it usually won’t cause an outbreak every time. Read more about how to choose best condoms for people with herpes.
There are other ways to experience intimacy
When you can’t have sex due to an outbreak, there are many other ways to be intimate, which may even strengthen your relationship in the long run. For example, mutual masturbation poses almost no risk. You could masturbate together, whether it be side-by-side, facing each other, or back-to-back. Read more about masturbation and herpes.
Other possible herpes triggers
Colds and sunlight: The common cold and sunlight tend to trigger oral herpes outbreaks. No proof exists that these cause genital herpes outbreaks.
Hormones: Hormonal changes, such as menstruation, can trigger genital herpes outbreaks.
Surgery or a weak immune system: Surgery can cause herpes symptoms to occur, as can a weakened immune system. For example, patients who have immune systems weakened by chemotherapy may notice they have more outbreaks than others.
Triggers are not the same for every patient and doctors still don’t know how lifestyles affect herpes. If you believe something in your lifestyle triggers your symptoms, ask your doctor what you can do about it.
Worry about possible transmission? Find a partner with herpes!
PositiveSingles is 2022 No.1 Herpes dating site and have been on the web for over 20 years. It has 1.7 million online people with herpes.
You can find thousands of nearby singles wiht herpes like you no matter you are looking for a casual relationship or long-term parters. Spend 3 minutes to place a profile and chat now.
We have have the ultimate guide on sex with herpes. With knowledge, care and communication, you will have a safe and fulfilling sex life with herpes. Continue to read the following articles:
How long to wait for sex after herpes outbreak?
Sex with Herpes: how to have a safe and fulfilling sex life
Feel guilty/worried of possible transmission, how to get over it?
Does herpes affect libido and cause a low sex drive?
Do condoms prevent herpes? how effective are condoms against herpes?