First time disclosing: How to deal with rejection?

For singles with herpes, a large percentages of us have experienced rejections for the first time disclosing. The first time herpes rejection may hurts a lot more than yo expected. Sometimes, you may wonder can I find love with herpes? Can I have a normal relationship with herpes?

Be strong you will find that right person. You will find someone who will truly love you and think of herpes as nothing. It really is nothing, it’s just the stigma of it is the worst thing to deal with daily.

Be proud for your honesty and integrity

When you go through the rejection from disclosing and as much as it hurt, it wasn't the end of your world. Please be proud yourself for your honesty and integrity! You did the right thing. At least you go out there and tried, a lot of people with herpes is afraid of even going on dates.

Keep this in mind

Over 50% of the population has either HSV1 or HSV2. So this thing you consider "humiliating"...the MAJORITY of people on planet earth have it in common with you. Your next disclosure will go better. Don't put too much stock in this one data point.

They were rejecting the herpes and not you

We are going but being (black, white, acne, dept), none of those risks another’s health. But herpes can so that’s why you should not be mad if someone didn’t want to accept it. Even you do not really see it as a health risk, more of a skin disease or is not fatal.

But it is still a risk for other people's health. Some can handle it, some cant. If anyone you disclose yourself too isn’t supportive, respect their choice. Maybe they are too scared they are going to get it by simply touching you or something. There's just a huge stigma around it.

All the “negative” reactions (scared, shocked, worried expression on the face, etc) - this is all normal – just think of all the feelings you have about it, especially when you first found out, and how you are feeling now. Feelings also change. Keep in mind that sometimes the way people react is more about THEM than it is about YOU.

Everyone has some “baggage” they carry and whatever that is could cause you to be rejected. Herpes adds an extra weight to that baggage, but we all have stuff that someone will need to get past.

You give them education on the infection. Tell them 1 in 6 have it and have no idea. Just think if there are 6 in line at McDonald’s, at least one of those people have it. And that before casting any stones, they need to have the correct test and check on their own health. Wish them good luck and move on.

The first rejection was the worst, it will be no big issue any more

When you look back some time later, the rejection is necessary because some of us will be no longer afraid of that rejection. It is important to remember that the rejection does not make you worth less as a person. You may be deprived of a relationship that you really want. However, there are people out there who will accept you and take the risk. The next time, or the time after that, it will go better.

Rejection is a part of dating with herpes

Rejection is a part of life in every area.Try to remember that and you try to prepare for that. You could be rejected for anything. Remember, even people without herpes, they have to deal with rejection. Herpes just did you a favor and showed you the partner true colors.

You have to be OK with rejection. It doesn’t matter if you think their response is unreasonable, or illogical, or fair. It doesn’t matter if you think this is your new soul mate, the first person you’ve crushed on in years, or whatever.

That person gets to decide what is acceptable for them. We are not saying you shouldn’t educate them. But if they say no, you have to accept it. And as much as it sucks to be rejected for any reason, you are far better off getting that out of the way as quickly as possible, before anyone involved gets really invested.

You might not be able to change their minds with information. Let them go. You have to be vulnerable in this moment, and while you can do your best to educate your partner, you shouldn’t have to try to convince them to stick around if they get hung up on the herpes.Because if someone acts immediately hurtful or offensive, or if they’re scared off by your diagnosis, they’re probably not worth your time long-term anyway.

Inpriational stories

So lets use this time as a learning curve. Go on few dates, if you see potential, then you can disclose, it stops you from gaining feelings, but at least enough time to be observant at to are they worth you even telling them...cause some you can determine are not looking for anything but quick sexual fullfillment and just using words to get into your panties. This filters those guys out.

Imagine you didnt have H, but he told you a bunch of stuff, you slept with him and he bounced down the road to the next person...you would have felt the same as now. So this filters those kinds of guys out. When doing a disclosure, dont let it be centered around " I have herpes" . Make it a convo of lets talk about safer sex testing education. I found out some things that you might not be completely aware of.

For instance, did you know that the standard std test that wveryone is given does not even test for all things. That the CDc guidelines Dr follow tell them NOt to test for certain things becuase 90% of the population has one form of it and 80% are sient carriers, never expereincing any symptoms at all. So you have to ask specifcially for that 10 panel std screening and side test for trichomonaisis. then you know your true status.

I am telling you this so that you can be properly aware. I do have thise tests and make sure that any prospective person does the same for me. Have you ever asked for that particul test by name? Becasue I have nd I know I am negative for these stds and I m positive for the one common virus that 90% of the population has too, time to see if you are also. see if puts the focus on them and their testing.....its two humN beings having a discussion about proper testing, birth control, etc. since both partners may want to play with each others naked bodies...sex comes with consequences, which need to be discussed ahead of time. Then it allows on your own timeline when you are ready to have sex, even if a month later, you both know where you stand.

Story: do not focus on the rejections

We hope you all do not focus on the rejections because of herpes. I don't know about you but I've been rejected so many times before I had herpes and rejection comes in all kinds of forms not just from a potential boyfriend or girlfriend. Not being hired is a rejection, being fired is a rejection.

We put too much emphasis on we're rejected because of herpes. If you put that energy out you will keep getting rejected or if you get accepted it won't be by somebody you really need to be with. Learn to be positive about your life and let go of what doesn't happen the way you expect.

Use herpes dating sites as as a transitional tool

In a world where we are judged for having a sexually transmitted condition, telling a new partner about herpes means risking a higher rate rejection that plenty of herpes+ people would rather avoid. So two of three people with herpes are using at least one herpes dating site.

If you do not want to be judged. You may use herpes dating sites as as a transitional tool before re-entering the wider dating sphere.