Many singles with herpes wonder if online herpes dating sites could really work for them. After all, since they’re serving such a specific niche, these websites have a much smaller dating pool than a mainstream dating site or dating app would have.
If you put up profiles simultaneously on OKCupid, Match.com, Tinder, and one of the leading herpes dating sites, you’ll definitely get more messages and activity from the mainstream sites than the herpes dating site.
Why online herpes dating site over 30 doesn’t work … and what you should do about it
In many cases, new members won’t get any messages on a herpes dating site for weeks after signing up and creating their profile. This can lead to negative feelings about herpes dating sites in general, and it’s easy to get discouraged.
If you take a little bit of time to improve your profile and add some high quality photos of yourself, and you’re not afraid to make the first move, you’re pretty much guaranteed to get more interactions on herpes dating sites. There’s a bit of an art to it, but once you master the tricks of the trade, you can start connecting with other singles in your area within as little as a few days.
These facts about herpes dating sites can help you better understand what you can expect from them, and how you can maximize your chances of finding a date.
Herpes dating sites have a smaller pool of users than regular dating sites and apps. But, they may have an equal number of invalid emails.
There are actually a lot of people out there who are carrying the herpes virus (HSV-1 or HSV-2), but don’t even know it yet because they haven’t had an outbreak. So, out of all the people who have herpes, only a fraction have been tested and are aware that they have the virus.
Because of this, herpes dating sites have a smaller pool of potential matches in your area than mainstream dating sites. But, you have to remember that on mainstream dating sites and dating apps, you may experience a significantly higher rejection rate. After you disclose that you have herpes, a nontrivial percentage of your potential matches will probably reject you because of the disease.
Once you factor this in, the number of positive, promising responses you’ll get on mainstream sites versus herpes dating sites will probably still end up being about equal, regardless of the big difference in membership numbers.
Plus, getting rejected because you have herpes can be bad for your confidence and self esteem, and that can be a lot more discouraging than waiting weeks for any messages on a herpes-specific site.
While some people with herpes are centered, self-actualizing, and self-confident enough not to take rejections to heart, a lot of people do have trouble coping with this kind of rejection. If you’re in that second category, a herpes dating site may be a much better option for you.
Overall, the answer is YES. Herpes dating sites can help singles with herpes increase their chances of successfully finding love -- including you!
Here are some tips you can use to make sure that online herpes dating sites, as well as herpes dating mobile apps, can work well for you.
● Read our article about how to succeed at using a herpes dating site.
Did you choose the right herpes dating site?
Did you spend time perfecting the text portion of your profile?
Did you upload great photos that help you stand out from the competition?
Did you make the first move and write a great introductory message?
How many messages have you sent?
Use the tips in the article to help you improve your profile, your photos, and your messages, and you’ll start seeing more responses.
● Once you meet someone you’re interested in, move your conversations offline as soon as you can.
When online communication is quickly followed by face to face interaction, it can actually help nurture the development of attraction and intimacy even more effectively than conventional dating.
● Don’t judge potential matches based solely on surface-level things like physical appearance.
Physical attraction to someone’s photos is a poor predictor of relationship satisfaction or long-term relationship satisfaction. Plus, some people just don’t photograph well. The way someone carries themselves can have a huge effect on how physically attractive they are in person, and some people just have a lot more sex appeal in person than in their online photos.
● Evaluate each potential partner separately.
It’s easy to let yourself get sucked into the habit of comparing one match against another on herpes dating sites. These kinds of side-by-side comparisons just keep you putting too much emphasis on irrelevant traits. When you evaluate people separately, you can think more carefully about whether they’re a good fit for you.
● Patience is key.
You can only enjoy the pleasures of dating if you’re willing to have some patience. While it is possible to have instant chemistry with someone, building up a real relationship takes time, and you’ll need some time to get to know each other. It’s always possible that it will turn out that you don’t have the same relationship goals, or you don’t have that much in common, or that they’re actually kind of a jerk. This can leave you angry and confused if you convinced yourself on day one that this person was Mr. or Ms. Right.
On the other hand, if you meet someone you like but you’re not quite sure about, don’t be too quick to move on to the next prospect without letting the relationship unfold first. Everyone’s in a such a rush to fall in love with the perfect partner, that it’s all too easy to totally miss the person who might just be exactly what you’re looking for. You can get derailed by what you think you want, leading you to ignore what you actually want: someone who listens to you and understands who you really are.
This takes time and effort. I encourage all of you to date at a slower pace, and get to know each person before you make a final decision about whether you want to keep seeing them or not. Love unfolds in front of you, sometimes when you least expect it -- and very often, with a person you never would have expected to fall in love with.
Herpes dating sites give you a great chance to find a stress-free, guilt-free relationship.
Some of the most popular herpes dating sites have been online for as long as 18 years. These services have been around for people just like you for almost as long as internet dating itself has existed. If these websites weren’t providing any value for their users, they wouldn’t have stuck around for this long.
In a world where people are judged for having a sexually transmitted condition, telling a new partner that you have herpes means risking rejection. That’s something a lot of herpes positive people would rather avoid altogether. When you join a herpes dating site, you can completely avoid the cultural stigma against people with herpes dating people without the disease.
Some people with herpes also use herpes dating sites as a transitional tool, helping them ease themselves into re-entering the broader mainstream dating world. That’s absolutely fine, and these sites can help people with herpes build up the confidence they need. Can someone with herpes date someone without herpes? Herpes is just skin condition. It should not limit your dating pool. Two out three herpes singles are using herpes dating sites and normal dating sites together.
Withoutherpes dating sites, the psychological healing process might take a lot longer for many people. Most people with herpes are just good, ordinary people looking for love. On herpes dating sites, we can look for love in a dating pool where we don’t have to worry about hurting someone the way that we feel that we’ve been hurt.
Some people might tell you, “Just get over it, it’s not a big deal.” But to some people, rejection and the stigma surrounding herpes are a big deal. It’s impossible to know how any given partner might process your disclosure physically or emotionally. Even if you disclose it to an educated, knowledgeable partner who’s aware that they’re not guaranteed to get the virus just because you have it, you can still find yourself troubled by concern and guilt. You wouldn’t want to accidentally cause someone else suffering by inadvertently transmitting the herpes virus.
Herpes dating sites give you a chance to find a great relationship, without having to worry about any of those things. Dating other people with herpes is stress-free, guilt-free, and has no barriers on physical intimacy. This can be incredibly important for many people who are living with a herpes diagnosis.
