Dating with herpes: How to Handle Dating after a herpes diagnosis

What was dating life like after your diagnosis? How do you date with genital herpes? When someone is first diagnosed, the thought of dating with herpes can fill them with horrible anxiety. They may wonder if they will ever find love again. Can someone with herpes have a normal relationship?

Most people might feel isolated from the outside world as a result, but you don’t have to feel that way. Here are some common questions when you get back to dating world with herpes.

• How do you stay motivated?
• How can you even find a partner? Dating people with herpes or without it?
• What’s the best way to break the news?
• How do you tell your partner that you’ve contracted genital herpes?

In this article, we’ve gathered experience from other successful couples answer all of your questions about how to successfully date with herpes. It is very useful for people who are newly diagnosed and when they start to get back to dating world.

You have herpes, but you are not your herpes.

After herpes diagnosis, you may simply be terrified about how they are going to face the world. Knowing you now have herpes can play havoc on your emotions. It may make you feel angry or depressed. It may make you feel dirty or sexually undesirable.

Being HSV-positive doesn’t mean you’re mean you’re bad, or immoral. It’s just a skin disease that so many people have. So there’s really nothing to be terrified or ashamed about.

Herpes may be a part of your life now and it’s understandable if all you think about at this point is its effect on your life. But please don’t the let it define you. There are a lot of things that are infinitely more important to who you are as a person and that’s what you bring to a relationship – the person you are, not the virus you have.

Herpes is very common. You are not alone.

Herpes is extremely common. Genital herpes affects one in six people ages 14 to 49. Because of how common it is, most people already know one or more people with herpes. They may even have it themselves.

There are somesupport groups for people with herpes in some big cities. There are also online support groups at herpes websites. You will find you are not alone. So boost your self-image, embolden your self-confidence. If you believe it, you will be it!

Come to terms with herpes before getting back to dating world

When you get back to dating world, you may wait untile you truly come to terms with herpes. One of the toughest things to remember when dating with herpes is that mostly it's just dating. Dating is an activity fraught with the potential for drama, pain, and heartbreak for pretty much everyone. Herpes is just one factor in the equation.

Do not judge yourself. After a herpes dignosis, it may be difficult to think about anything other than the fact that you have a disease. But that's all it is - a disease. It isn't who you are.

Herpes doesn't seem like that big a deal. Treat herpes just like any other problem in the dating scene. If someone like you enough, herpes can be just something they have to work with. Just like you have to work with a partner's snoring or their affection for mornings.

We all have various hurdles to face in the dating scene and herpes can be reduced to just one of those hurdles. If a person rejects you, it might not be because of the illness. In other words, don't use herpes as an excuse to stop self-improvement.

After a herpes dignosis, most poeple take a break from the romance scene and just chill on their own for a while. It’s important to realize that moving on takes different amounts of time for different people. While some individuals are ready to date almost instantly after a diagnosis, others need years to get back into dating.

Decide whom you want to date： HSV Singles VS Everyone

If you are ok with the whole herpes diagnosis and realize herpes not that big a deal. Then you are ready to get back to the dating world . You have a lot of options. You can continue to date the same way you did before or date someone with the same virus.

A large percentage of people choose to date other people with herpes on herpes dating sites to avoid the possiblity of virus tranmmsion and awkard herpes talk. Because of the stigma so strongly associated with herpes, singles with herpes may have a higher rate of rejection. that is why two out three have used this kind of herpes dating service.

These herpes communities helps rebuild the confidence that gets hammered down when you get that herpes diagnosis and provide a soft landing. Some reliable websites like PositiveSingles has been online nearly 20 years. When you come to terms with herpes diagnosis and get comfortable to share herpes condition. You can try everyone dating and herpes only dating sites together.

Dating with herpes means be upfront

When you come to terms to herpes and get comfortable to share your herpes status (dating with herpes, there is othing shameful about it) to ordinary people. You can choose to date the same way you did before. The first date may seem a little strange. If you hope to be sexually intimate with your partner at some point, you may feel like you're keeping a secret.

If you are one to be candid with people, you'll want to blurt it out. Don't. Make sure to read the article do you legally have to tell someone you have an STD like Herpes?

You need to tell a date that you have herpes and give them enough time to absorb and think about the information before having sexual contact. If you still have the question "should I tell someone I have herpes" or fear of the herpes talk means you are not ready for everyone dating.

What it the best time to have the herpes talk

One of the hardest parts about telling your partner you have herpes is the timing. Telling a partner too soon may make him run away without giving you a chance, but waiting too long can make him feel like you “tricked him” or betrayed him. There are conflicting views about when to tell.

You need to weigh your own needs and feelings along with your partner’s needs and feelings. For most people, this is an individual decision based on getting to know the other person first, and figuring out if they are someone you can trust and are really interested in.

Always tell your partner(s) about herpes BEFORE you have any sexual contact with them. During foreplay or intercourse is not the time to share this news.

How to tell someone you have herpes

When you do have the talk, it's best to be straightforward about it. You may be comfortable to bring up the topics and have nothing to be ashamed of. Not ready? read Dating with herpes, there is nothing shameful of having herpes.

Here is one sample script.

"I like how things are going in our relationship, and I'm hoping we'll end up in bed sometime soon. Before we do, I wanted to let you know that I have genital herpes.

I take suppressive therapy and haven't had an outbreak in a while, so the risk of passing it to you is low. Still, it's not zero, so I wanted you to have a chance to think about it before we get intimate.

You don't need to respond right now. When, and if, you're ready, I'm happy to talk with you more or to just send you some information."

Once you share this information with your partner, it’s critical that you see how they respond and listen to what they are saying.

Tips for how to have this conversation:

• Learn everything about herpes. How to suppress the virus, reduce outbreaks, and how to prevent transmission to a partner.
• Confidence in communication is the key. Be cool, calm, and collected when you tell them.
• Choose the right place: Don't interrupt what your partner is doing to break the news. The right setting is a relaxing one, just the two of you, where there won't be any distractions.
• Don’t describe the information as “awful” or “bad”: This is a normal challenge for many relationships. Don’t make it negative before you’ve even started talking.
• Don’t apologize: Be honest and direct, but you do not need to apologize.
• Be prepared with information: There’s a good chance your partner may want some details. Have some statistics about how common it is, medications you may be taking, or what the effects will be on your sex life. Don’t downplay it, but be honest with your knowledge.

Educate your partner

As for potential partners, if they start getting mean, you might want to ask them if they've been tested. If they haven't, they may have the virus and not know about it. It's unlikely any of us knew anything before we got it.

So if we want to talk to somebody about it, disclose then we have to educate ourselves and then give them facts. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) is an authoritative source that you can refer your partner to.

You may experience rejection

The truth is, some people will reject you when they find out you have herpes. It won't matter what you say or how you say it. Remember, Herpes is a great litmus test to let you know who really cares about you and desires you.

If a partner decides not to pursue a relationship with you because you have herpes, it is best to know this now. There are many people who will be attracted to you for who you are--with or without herpes.

There is nothing you need to feel really badly about, based on their reaction. They will react however they are going to react. People will feel different things: shocked, scared, grossed out, worried, confused. Or maybe just a bit concerned – because the way you are telling it, and how you have treated them, they already feel safe with you.

Keep dating, and you will find someone who wants to be with you regardless of your condition. You might look for another person who knows he or she has herpes, if only to avoid having to discuss it. If you already use online dating services or app, you can also use onliner herpes dating websites.